I’m going to keep it 100% real with you. Hearing the struggles that many women are having with their weight loss goals has made me reflect upon my weight loss journey.  Let’s just say, it’s been a wild ride with its fair share of what I like to call “learning opportunities.” Some might label them mistakes, and frankly, they’re right. These were my personal missteps, and now, I see them for what they were – pivotal moments.

In this series, I want to peel back the layers of these so-called mistakes. I’ve got more than five, but let’s focus on the biggies that had the most impact on me. 

And the first one? Not being my own best friend. 

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What’s In a Best Friend?

How do you define a best friend? For me, it’s someone dependable, non-judgmental, and full of unconditional love and acceptance. Not in a sappy way, but in a “real talk” way. If I go way back to my college days, they were the ones who were on my side, offering a hug, sage advice, or the perfect timing to say, “You’re going to be okay,” or “That guy was a total loser!”  Today, my definition of the “best friend” hasn’t changed much.

Reflecting upon my definition of a best friend, I realized I wasn’t that friend to myself. I wasn’t there for me, especially when I needed it most. But I didn’t understand the importance of showing compassion for myself.  But let’s go even deeper.

The Scale Was My Nemesis

Here is one example of how I wasn’t my own best friend.  Let’s talk about the scale – my arch-nemesis and occasional best friend. When it showed a number I liked, I was on top of the world. But the moment it crept up, even by a pound or two, I nearly blew a gasket and turned up the volume on the self-criticism. I’d say things to myself that I’d never dream of saying to anyone else. Sound familiar?

We’re all guilty of it – having an inner voice that’s more critic than cheerleader. Think about those times you stepped on the scale or when you felt like you messed up your diet plan (chances are, it wasn’t as bad as you thought).  What were the things you said to yourself silently?  Take inventory of those thoughts.

Here’s the kicker – our thoughts can become this habitual, negative soundtrack we don’t even notice anymore. It’s like choosing to hang out with a Debbie Downer all the time, but this one’s living in your head.

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The Key to Successful Weight Loss

What I’ve learned is this: being kinder to ourselves, and loving where we are right now, is crucial but I’ll go deeper shortly. Being your own best friend is the foundation of successful, long-term weight loss. I couldn’t see it before, but now I understand its importance.  I had to learn to be nice to myself! It wasn’t okay to look in the mirror and instantly criticize my thighs or tell myself I needed more squats. 

So this was mistake #1 on my weight loss journey to losing over 100lbs: not being my own best friend. If I haven’t convinced you of its importance yet, let’s dive into the nitty-gritty of self-compassion, its undeniable role in the personal weight loss journey, and how to get some. 

The Missing Ingredient 

Deep down, there’s a part of you that genuinely cares about your happiness and goals. Imagine embarking on a weight loss journey, armed with nothing but a scale, a gym membership, and a fridge full of kale. Sounds like a solid plan, right? Wrong. If you’re missing self-compassion, you’re like a knight going into battle without armor. You might have the sword, but honey, you’re going to feel every hit.

Here’s the truth: lack of self-compassion is the silent dream killer in the weight loss world. It’s the reason many of us end up yo-yo dieting or feeling like we’re on a never-ending rollercoaster of weight loss highs and emotional lows. When we mess up – and let’s be real, a slice of chocolate cake at 2 PM does happen – beating ourselves up becomes our default mode. Suddenly, we’re not just dealing with a sugar crash, but an emotional plummet as well.

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Self-compassion, or rather the lack thereof, affects our weight loss progress and maintenance like a bad relationship affects our playlist choices – dramatically and often with too much Adele. Without compassion, every slip-up feels like a personal failure, every pound gained a reason to punish ourselves. 

And here’s the kicker: this mindset doesn’t just hurt our hearts; it messes with our heads, making sustainable weight loss about as easy as getting a cat to do a backflip.

If you fancy a tad bit of humor mixed with serious sarcasm, then you might enjoy a video that I created that speaks to this very mistake: not being my own best friend.  It’s an oldie but a goodie (but please don’t make fun of me!). But don’t forget to return here to read “The Vibrant Rebel Fix”.  Let’s get you a new tool for your toolbox!

The Vibrant Rebel Fix 

Now, let’s flip the script. Imagine treating yourself with the same kindness and understanding that you’d offer to your best friend. Missed a workout? It’s okay; your value isn’t measured in gym hours. Ate too much at dinner? You’re human, and guess what? Humans enjoy food.

This isn’t about giving yourself a free pass to abandon your goals; it’s about acknowledging that progress isn’t a straight line. It’s a wild, squiggly mess that sometimes loops back on itself.

Incorporating self-compassion into your weight loss journey transforms it from a battle to a dance – sometimes you step on your own toes, but the music keeps playing, and so do you.

You learn to move with grace, to forgive your missteps, and to celebrate the small victories. Because when you start treating yourself with love and respect, you’re not just losing weight; you’re gaining a whole new perspective on what it means to be healthy.

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So, the next time you find yourself staring down the barrel of a setback, remember: a little self-compassion goes a long way. It’s the secret ingredient that makes the weight loss journey not just bearable, but beautiful. And who doesn’t want a little more beauty in their life?

Keep it kind, throw some lightheartedness in the sauce, and show yourself some love.

Your Turn

Now, I want to hear from you. Have you made this “mistake”? Did the idea of not being your own best friend resonate with you? How did you come to realize it, and what steps did you take to change it? Share your stories with me! 

Stay tuned for my next post, where I’ll dive into the second of my five biggest mistakes during my weight loss journey. Trust me, it’s going to be an eye-opener!

Until next time, remember that self-compassion is the fix. You deserve it just as much as anyone else.

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